Last weekend, Kenan and I made our way to Rolla, Mo. for our 15-year class reunion. During our short stay, some seriously random events happened. I'll share them with you.
5. Bar fight: After a bite to eat at Alex's and a quarter of Rolla High football, we met up with our classmates at Public House in downtown Rolla. From there, we followed as the class went to another downtown establishment.
I'm not going to mention the name of the pub (it wasn't Public House), but as we walked in two extremely intoxicated young men were saying some not so nice things to each other. Someone yelled, "They're gonna fight!" Then they went outside.
This sort of thing is amusing when you're in your 20s. At 33, my first thought was, "I really don't want to get shot or stabbed. My wife would be so mad."
4. Shooting range: Before heading back on Saturday, we joined friend and fellow class of 2000 grad, Todd, for a session at a backwoods shooting range in the Newburg area. Judging by Todd's gun collection, I'm convinced he's working on a career as a Hollywood weapons outfitter.
|Agent Smith, I mean, Todd, takes aim with a .50 caliber Desert Eagle.|
And, yet, thanks to Todd's fascination with exotic weaponry, we were able to sling some lead downrange from guns that most people have never even seen in person. A .50 caliber Desert Eagle, a 44 magnum Raging Bull, a .45 ACP KRISS Vector...pure tough-guy coolness.
|Kenan decided to do a cool-guy move and flop the cylinder shut with one hand. We laughed at him, and then he laughed at himself.|
3. John Deere theft: At some point on Friday evening, we came across a group of drunks walking around downtown. One made a fascinating spectacle of trying to open the door of a John Deere backhoe that was parked in a lot as part of an ongoing construction project.
"Oh man, they locked it!" he exclaimed. Yes, shocking that they'd lock a $200,000+ piece of construction equipment. And, yet, if they hadn't, how long until the Rolla Police Department noticed a drunken man cruising down Pine Street in a backhoe? Someone did that man a tremendous favor by locking the cab. Judging by his "Ditch Witch" hat, I'm certain he would have made good on his drunken boast of boosting the backhoe.
2. Shirtless shenanigans: So, at the same place we nearly witnessed a fight, just 15 minutes later a young man pulled off his shirt and belly flopped on a table, where he commenced to drink (through a straw) a cup of something. As he lay there, someone smacked his backside, whereupon he started humping the table.
Since when is this a thing? And by that, I mean since when have young people started flopping on tables in an elaborate show of drinking a mixed drink via a straw? It seems neither manly nor impressive. Just weird.
1. 50 packets of sauce: Once Kenan and I wrapped up our night, we, like a lot of other people, headed for the Taco Bell drive through. At the window, they asked if we wanted sauce. Kenan said, yeah, a lot of mild sauce. The lady responded, "What numerical value would correspond with 'a lot' of sauce?"
Who says something like that? Without missing a beat, Kenan said, "50." And, without missing another beat, the lady proceeded to count out 50 mild sauce packets and place them in a separate bag. Who does that?!!